Briana's Mildly Interesting Tumblr.

I’ll do a longer post about why later on maybe, but essentially it boils down to this:

I need to not be obsessively surrounding myself with stuff to do with food and exercise.

I have gotten so much positive stuff from tumblr, that I’m really torn, but I still feel like having it is making these things too central in my life, as opposed to just a part of my life.

This past week I didn’t eat all that well the whole week. I drank a lot, had fast food twice, and ate out for several meals. Come Sunday I didn’t feel great, but mostly because I hadn’t been eating in a healthy way that makes me feel tip top, as opposed to because I felt like I’d “failed” or something.

I don’t have any doubts that healthy eating and exercising will be things I continue with for the rest of my life, but I feel like tumblr is making them things that define me, which makes it really hard to move on completely from dieting and disordered patterns.

So, yeah. I’m hoping to embark on a new phase of body positivity and an even better relationship with food, because it makes me feel good. But it needs to not be the most important thing in my life. Thinking about food all the time isn’t healthy, no matter how good or healthy my intentions are.

I guess I summed it up in this post, didn’t I?

I’m also putting this out there, though I know cause we are often awkward people that probably no one will take me up on it haha: if we have messaged back and forth, commented on each other’s stuff a lot, etc. (you know who you are), message me if you’d like to be “Facebook friends,” Skype, etc. I really value the people I have “met” and interacted with on here.

I’m not deleting, and I might change my mind, bit that’s where I am right now. (:

Sweet potato turkey shepherd’s pie you are so beauuuuutiful.

Also here’s a picture from when I went to Seattle last weekend (on which trip I had a terrible time by the way but anyway)….

Also apparently I got felt up by a fern a little.

Some foods:

Breakfast: omelette with spinach, bell pepper, and sausage, coffee with half and half
Lunch: vanilla protein and cocoa powder shake, pb chocolate Luna protein bar, rice cake on the way home from much needed grocery shopping
Dinner: ground beef sauteed with bell pepper, onion, zucchini, avocado, and olive oil

I have been eating less than clean lately, like lots of food out, grains, dairy, and sugary stuff, all of which I know are fine in moderation but make me feel bad…ugh. I’ve been feeling less than ideal. Also just not in the mood to workout, even though I have been still making myself do a minimum. I’ve just been really low energy and not in the mood. I’d assume the two are linked, obviously.

I’m in this weird place of being bummed about my fitness levels, eating, and body lately, and having a really good time in other areas of my life.

Not all areas…school is really overwhelming and I might decide not to move to San Diego, so I’m sort of in a weird place life wise.

However, the sun is out, I’m having fun, and I also am kiiiiind of seeing someone sort of. Not the guy from my math class though, although he keeps talking to me and we met up to do homework together yesterday….I’ve decided he kind of sucks and I am no longer interested in him at all haha.

Anyway so I’m trying to get back on track food wise because I’m sick of feeling blah, and also balance fun times with school work and healthy times.

Urgh, my life.

I need to creep on everyone later because I miss yous.

Also maybe I’ll update but it’s not like much noteworthy has happened haha like I’ve been busy but just normal life busy.

Basically right now I’m in full blown panic because I’m starting to think I might not actually want to move to San Diego but the wheels are already so in motion that I don’t really think I have a choice.

Every time I think about it I feel all constricted and panicky, not out of nerves but because I just hate the idea right now.

I made the decision to apply to San Diego as my relationship was falling apart and I needed an “out,” and I really wanted to move while I was still caught up in it over the winter, which made me just want to get as far away from my ex as possible.

Now I’m worried I made a huge, bad decision for entirely the wrong reasons.

Ha. Hahahahahaha.

Guys, meet Brian.

This is my dudebro alter ego from a party this weekend.

You know how you know you’re not a real adult?

When you’re drinking wine out of an ikea water glass.
Bonus points if you bought the wine at 7/11.

Extra bonus points if you are drinking said wine because you are nervous about seeing a guy.

Foods foods foods:

Protein x2 with cocoa powder, bag of jerky, two rice cakes with peanut butter and jam, and an omelette with spinach, bell pepper, and sausage.

I’m also going to have a glass of wine soon becauseeeee this new guy I’m kind of sort of not really seeing is coming over later and I’m nervous…eeep.

Also I did 30 minutes of elliptical today, so that’s the exercise front.

Eeeek eeek eeek.

Foods:

Breakfast: chocolate banana protein oatmeal with peanut butter
Lunch: tuna with relish and mustard, and spinach…I ate the spinach raw with my hands haha….
Dinner: protein shake with two servings of protein and cocoa powder, broccoli

Now I’m drinking wine with my friend and watching Game of Thrones. I’m only sort of back, I still haven’t had a chance to catch up on everyone’s pages! ):

Also legs today, it was good, but I still can’t get more than single reps out of my squat at 155. CURSES.